"...The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow....Other Than That......?"

People say I'm psychic.
Or maybe I've misheard them and they're saying psychotic.
Potato, patahto.
Either way, I know what I know...
And a few things besides...
To wit, I humbly offer my annual predictions for 2011...


1. Superman fans will celebrate when Katy Perry divorces Russell Brand and marries Jack White of the White Stripes, becoming, of course, Katy Perry White…
2. Seeing that Lady Antebellum sold more CDs in 2010 than he did, Adam Lambert will change his name to Lady Adamlambert…which, is of course, redundant.
3. Mike Posner will finally concede that he’s not cooler than me.
4. Adobe Flash Player will upgrade the sound of Maroon 5, issuing Maroon 5.1…
5. The next day, Adobe Flash Player will issue Maroon 5.2…
6. Taylor Swift’s career will require a re-tooling as she hits puberty.
7. The mystery of Amelia Earhart’s disappearance will take a new twist when pieces of her lost airplane turn up in Justin Bieber’s hair…
8. Ryan Seacrest will confess that he is actually into witchcraft…and then run for the U.S. Senate from Delaware…
9. Lady Gaga will have a baby…oddsmakers list the chances at even money that she’ll name the kid Baby GooGoo…
10. The stock market will take a disastrous plunge as investors panic at the news that Snooki actually knows how to talk like a normal human being…
11. Michael Buble will finally have the supermonster hit that will make him a household name causing people to stop calling him Michael Bubble.
12. Pink will record a CD aimed at older audiences when she realizes that she’s gone from shocking to more of a light carnation pink…
13. Oprah will struggle throughout the year with deciding whether to give that “kinda lesbian” thing a try or not…
14. Usher’s CD sales will be so successful that he will start calling himself Head Usher…
15. Sarah Palin will parlay her reality show success into a new cooking show “Sarah Palin’s Baked Alaska”…
16. Jessica Simpson will accidentally become engaged to Britney Spears…
17. Lindsay Lohan will, sadly, be re-admitted to rehab, but will announce HER engagement to House, M.D….
18. No signs of intelligent life will be discovered on Bruno Mars…
19. Mariah Carey will have her twins…Nick Cannon will be traded for a future draft choice…
20. American Idol will be cancelled after the coming season…Randy will be kept on, though…
21. Finally… I will find out that I was adopted…and my biological mother is…
     a. Susan Boyle
     b. Paula Abdul
     c. Abba
     d. Miss Ethel
     e. Professor McGonagall

The answer....sometime before December 31st on The Jack Edwards Radio Show, Monday through Saturday from 3P to 7P...

Happy new year!